so much for a fucking hotel party. waisted 20 bucks. fucking awesome. 

fuck you billy, I swear to god if I see your squirly face I’ll fucking beat it into a bloody pulp. 

I am so unbelievably tired, I need a job, and I love Game of Thrones so much that I watch the episodes over again. I need to journal for my next visit to my shrink. I don’t know if I will paint again. I painted while I was tripping, but I was very restricted. I feel that if I had a  huge canvas and drop cloth I could really paint something gorgeous, and really feel out my pallet knifes. Really get some good texture. Ever since my painting class I’ve been very reserved on painting. The teacher really hated me and my style. 

I’m just really tired. I’m not sure what this post is really suppose to pain, mostly me rambling a bit about my boring life that seems to be at a stopping point. 

Hopefully I get this job, I honestly really need it. I am now 234$ in debt to amazon because of my mum’s birthday and fathers day. I need cash. I need a job. ASAP. I know I shouldn’t be stressing, but I can’t help it. I don’t want to end up with debt up to my ears. I’m trying to take deep calming breaths but that’s not really working. I need to find my buddhist mala that my best friend Rory gave me, and I need to go to temple soon. Hopefully everything will be good. I’m going to get journaling stuff tonight for therapy, and of course I will be tripping. We will see how it all looks in the morning. Haha. 

xxxKatie Noel 

God I hope I get this job, I really need one. I need cashhhhh. 

So here it goes. Tuesday night I took a hand full of pills and had to go to the ER. I’ve been off my meds and recently have just gotten back on them. I’m just basically trying to reconstruct my life the best way I know how, sucking the poison out a little bit at a time. I’ve recently been consumed with sadness and hopelessness but I know now, that there are other ways.

 I’m preparing to get hate for this, but I really don’t care. I have all I need. I’m simply answering the questions I have gotten. I’m preparing to hear that I should have died in the ER or some shite like that. I don’t give a fuck anymore. I’m back to doing what I need to do with my life, and bettering myself as a person. That’s all I’m worrying about. That’s all I care about. School, good friends, family, and my boyfriend are the only things that matter to me right now. Go ahead, try to break me, try to bring me down. It’s not going to happen because I’ve become such a stronger person. 

Your experiences in every day life, the people you meet, the things you see, the songs you listen too. All of it creates who you are as a human being, so don’t surround yourself with shitty, uneventful, and even worse, un-meaningful experiences. 

\m/ I wish Ross was here too. 

Win for Daddy/Daughter dates! Also, maybe I can talk him into buying me a few pairs of shorts since none of mine fit.